dream.....dream....dream.....

I hate it i hontoni hate it, i mean whats the problem, i know my dream its a Little bit crazy but i thought all the possible alternative’s to make it true and then it like its impossible it not like that dream is something that I what just cause I want it I mean y something I really what to do , and is something that I can only do in this time of my life , and they just took it away, so what so I suppose to do, I don’t feel angry, I’m not angry with them, I’m not angry with life, but I hate the fact that no matter what you do and try to get something and you just can, no just for people , life situation which put on prove your relationships with the important people of your life, and you have to choose, there’s no double option , no matter what you have to choose between thing really important to you, and it’s just a holy crap, cause the only thing you can is left the dream of your life go away disappears and there’s nothing to fix that shit, because it’s not something you just want, it’s the thing you want to do no matter what, your wish your hope, and it’s not like I can do that whenever I want cause I have a limited time and once that time pass, it won’t be a way to fix it, I won’t be a way to get it , I will pass all my life wanting to go back in time to get it, to have that little hope what I will get it someday, but don’t even that , cause when a dream is gone, the only thing that left its hopeless , an empty inside of you what I’ll be there forever , what no one could fix it. Something are impossible and you really know that, but you still wanting that, like, can fly, everyone’s knows is impossible, and they still want it, but they accept the reality and go on, there are dreams easier than others, some of them is sure you’ll get it with time, with a lot of steps, easy steps, they are that kind of dream without a limit time to get them, but there are some which are all or nothing and is really horrible cause you know what you got to do something now, or you will be saying goodbye to it, but it’s just not time, cause the waiting time may not be long, and that means what it’s not a little step, is a big one, and the possibilities to make it are 40 % to 60% and it’s just so cruel the fact , I may still trying, look other possibilities but it may be impossible or not , but the only thing you know is what if you do everything will get better, but if you don’t, everything will still being the same shit , except for the fact what you will stay hopeless cause you lose something really important, and that something is exactly one of the reasons of why you still being alive, is one of your reason to live, the ones which let you go on a live your life going to the future, you can’t just look for other reason to live, is not that easy, I wish it were but is not, and I fucking hate that, but that’s the cruel reality, now there’s one less reason to live, at the moment I just want to sleep and forget about it all, that’s some kind of death, I had to have others reasons to live, cause the other reason will kill me, but that the only one that left , and right now it the only thing I can do, my time of life may be shorter or bigger, get this dream means death, no because the dream is die it’s because that is the consequences of get it. What can I say , two complete different dreams, one which open a world of possibilities , good ones, a better future of happiness, o other which open the death door. They don’t know that, but I’ve always been the kind of girl who has no grey, 2 really important dreams, one life of happiness, or one of a dead with found feelings, I had the power to choose but they took it away from me, as they took a sincere which , a hope of a better life, now I don’t have that power, so I will follow the other one, until I get it, until I die. I feel a huge feeling inside of me, I what to scream, but I have no voice, I want to do something but my hand are tie, that’s how it feels the impotence